In recent months there has been great cause for worry. Pensions are shrinking. Jobs are disappearing. Real estate values are declining. The problem is not isolated; it exists in most of the economically developed world today.
So what is a person to do about worry, anxiety, stress and uncertainty? Somehow a flippant, "Don't worry, it will all work out!" just does not seem to cut it.
Let me offer some suggestions that work for me. First, let's define worry. The dictionary says worry is an emotion of concern or anxiety about a real or perceived issue. It can be personal and involve health, finances, job situations, relationships, change and so on. It can also be corporate and involve the fear of wars, collapsed economies, or environmental threats.
We need to bear in mind that some worry is positive and good. Worry can help us avoid risky behaviour. A fear of developing lung cancer can help a person stop or never start smoking cigarettes. Worry also forces people to take precautions. Buying life insurance or properly insuring one's possessions is a good by-product of worry about loss of life or property.
Worry is a problem when it becomes chronic or toxic. It is believed that one in four persons have chronic kinds of worry issues. This type of worry can lead to physical ailments like ulcers, high blood pressure, asthma, and skin disorders. It can also result in a host of emotional and psychological or behavioral problems like excessive drinking, withdrawal and depression.
Here are some light-hearted as well as more thoughtful ideas on worry by a variety of people in the past:
"I’ve seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true."
Mark Twain
"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due."
William R. Inge
"What were you worried about this time last year?
Can't remember?"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
Charles Schultz
Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From the evil which never arrived.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on.
Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?
And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin,
yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.
But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you?
You of little faith! -- Jesus
Consider the following recommendations to minimize debilitating worry.
1. Make a plan. You cannot wring your hands and roll up your sleeves simultaneously. Talk to people. Research things on the internet. When everything looks hopeless it is great to take pen and paper (or PDA) and begin to list steps and solutions. They do exist. Just last week I met with a man who saw no way out of a financial crisis because his job was terminated. After some discussion he discovered four possible steps he could take that would help him. Even I was surprised. I once worked with a man who had terrible personal debt. He was already elderly so his earning days were short. By following a carefully worked out plan he was debt free in 3 years. It was painful at times but it was incredibly rewarding and freeing for him as well as for his family. I recall very clearly the day he reported to me that his debts had vanished. He was ecstatic. His life was hopeless and self defeating until he developed a plan. Someone once said that action is worry's worst enemy!
2. Do the obvious. Eating properly, getting sleep, and exercising, are all very important to maintain a proper perspective about life.
3. Maintain contact with other people. It is easy to withdraw and become reclusive. Do not do that. Human contact is tremendously therapeutic. A pat on the back, or better yet, a hug is very important. Never worry alone. Talk things over with others. Men especially, have a tendency to "Zip up" and not admit their fears and worries. You will be surprised how helpful it is to verbalize your fears to someone else. My elderly friend who got out of debt with a plan, would not have succeeded without the help of caring friends. His situation was so serious that he agreed to have a friend co sign every check he ever wrote just to make sure he would not become irresponsible in spending money. This is an extreme example but in this instance the situation was serious.
4. Get the facts. A lot of worry is imagined. Much of what we worry about never happens. The storms are not nearly as bad as we expect. I have found it quite informative to study the history of prior economic downturns, recessions, and depressions. We all know about the crash of 1929. Learn about earlier banking crises in 1893 for example. How were they resolved? Learning the history of modern banking is fascinating and provides perspective.
5. Change the scenery. Sometimes dropping everything and playing a round of golf, taking a walk, splitting wood, or jogging, can clear the mind and bring things into perspective and focus.
6. Help someone else. I can assure you that it is always possible to find someone in as bad or worse conditions than the ones you live in. There are people around who deeply and genuinely hurt. Buy them a lunch or take them some groceries. Share an activity with them. Your worries will diminish.7. Get perspective. Resign as general manager of the universe! Take care of the things you must take care of and let others take care of the rest. I like the Serenity Prayer used in 12 step groups for this reason.
8. Consider a spirtual dimension to your life. Consider the words of Jesus I quoted above. This approach to life was helpful to Henry Ford who said, "I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about?"
It is not my intent to trivialize very serious concerns and fears that you may have. You may wish to see a physician if you are experiencing physical ailments or difficulties. Please do so! For many people, worry is not destroying health but it is robbing them of enjoying life.
Want to talk more? I would love to hear from you. I can be reached by email at rick@icarecoaching.com or you can use the contact part of my website.
Dr. Rick Penner
Copyright, December, 2008
