I have just returned from Poland where I spoke at a week long conference. Communication becomes even a greater challenge when an interpreter is needed. As I flew back from this conference I got to thinking more about the business of communicating.
What is communication? Conveying a message and receiving information back with minimal distortion is one way we could describe it. Notice that I am suggesting communication needs to be a cycle. It is not enough to send out signals. They must be received and returned to confirm that the original message was correctly received. It sounds like a very risky proposition and I believe it is. Yet, it is crucial to success in virtually every area of life. A survey conducted by the University of Pittsburgh and its Katz Business School revealed that good communication skills was the number one factor in how managers are selected by businesses. Good communication skills and the ability to get along with people were the main factors in contributing to job success.
Let's examine the communication process and highlight some roadblocks and principles that will help you communicate more effectively.
1. Know your message.
What do you wish to say? What do you want to get across? You must be very clear about what you desire to say. Is it simply about the time to meet for lunch? Is it about terminating an employee who is not performing to standards? Is it about confronting a colleague about a concern? Is it to comfort someone at a time of great loss? Is it to propose marriage to the love of your life? Few things are more frustrating than to listen to someone who is unclear about his or her intentions.2. Know your channel.
What method of communication will you use? Is screen to screen communication going to work or will face to face be better? Increasingly today, we are relying on text messaging, emails, video conferencing, and emails to communicate. Technology has transformed communication and has introduced new paradigms to the communication process. The cycle of communication today is in hours not in days. We expect almost instant replies and will not tolerate days or even weeks of waiting for responses to our messages as we would have 30 years ago. There are some dangers however with the use of technology. It has limitations. Emails can easily be misunderstood. They cannot capture a facial expression or a squeeze of the hand. Unlike the human voice, an email.cannot capture a tender spirit or a stern warning to the degree that a face to face meeting can. For example, sharing the results of a performance review should never be done via a text message or an email. On the otherhand, giving someone directions to a location can be done very well electronically. Text message users employ many abbreviations and codes. To the unitiated, such use can greatly enhance the liklihood of being misunderstood. Generational differences are important to consider too. Persons nearing retirement generally are not as keen to regard text messaging and other technology as the best way to communicate. People much younger regard it as natural and effective. Do not regard technology as the Godsend in communication! It has limitations. On occasion, travel to make the communication more personal and face to face, can be money well spent.
3. Know your audience.
Are there cultural dynamics you should be aware of? When I work with clients using the LIFO Survey© I sometimes ask them to write hypothetical letters seeking employment to persons who view life through different windows. This helps people realize that different people respond to messages in different ways. Knowing with whom you are communicating will force you to frame your message in different ways and is critical to having your message understood. Some cultures are more direct than others. Some expect a lot of social niceties before "getting down to business". It is possible to strain relationships severely when the culture of our audience is ignored. Some years ago I ignored this principle and almost destroyed a friendship. My office was arranging a trip to an Asian country. Since I did not know my counterpart in that country but did know one of his board members personally, I instructed our office to contact the board member. To me this seemed perfectly natural as I had developed a relationship with this person while my counterpart was unknown to me at that time. The contacts were made and I naively thought all was well. With the help of a friend who had lived in that country for many years we were able to determine why my host was so cool towards me. The reason was simple. I had contacted one of his subordinates instead of him directly. I had committed a cultural faux pas. I was instructed how to remedy the problem in a very indirect way and thus was able to salvage the friendship. Every business has a culture of some sort. Knowing what it is can be a great help to you in effective communication. Do what you can to learn about the environment into which your communication will be delivered.
Communication is risky! You can do at least something about each of the three points I have made above. You may not always be able to learn much about your audience. You cannot be expected to know every cultural nuance or agenda, bias, or issue of the receiver of your communication. You cannot know how seriously he or she will read what you have written. You cannot guarantee that it will even be read. You can diligently seek to "encode" your message but how it will be "decoded" is ultimately outside the realm of your control. It is amazing to me that while communication is essential and basic to life, it is also a very risky and challenging task.
Want to talk about it some more? You can contact me at rick@icarecoaching.com. I will do my best to communicate well with you and to assist you in finding ways to enhance your communication skills.
Dr. Rick Penner
www.icarecoaching.com
Copyright, June, 2008
