In the course of my work I encounter many such people. What might your life be like if you really went out on a limb, trusted your intuition and took some chances? Over the years, I have had imaginary conversations with God that take place when I am an old man (decades into the future of course). God says to me, "Son, let me show you what your life WOULD have been like, if you had really trusted me and been willing to take a risk, step out, or whatever." Then as God describes that scenario I wonder how close to that potential I am really living. It inspires me and gives me the "kick" to get out and continue to dream and cast visions.
I like to read inspiring biographies. Men and women who took risks, overcame great obstacles and remained persistent in their pursuit of a dream or a passion, move me deeply. Sam Walton inspires me. Kelly Fitzgerald, in writing about him begins by saying, "Sam Walton was a man who took chances, never said never, and kept on fighting the odds! "
We all know the rest of the story. With $5000 he had saved and $20,000 borrowed from his banker, rancher father-in-law, Walton purchased his first store and the rest is history. Well not really... Walton did not always achieve great successes. The landlord who owned the first building used by Walton charged an unreasonable amount of rent and refused to renew the lease when it came up. A few of Walton's endeavors did not result in profits and successes. But he learned as he went along and never gave up.I work with several people currently who are by their nature artists and creative dreamer types of individuals. The "normal" 9 to 5 routine is not for them. They have tried that and while it paid their bills, it was not satisfying. There was something inside that was waiting to come out. There was a certain kind of spirit that wished to spread its wings and soar. But that is so risky. Imagine ending a job that pays a regular salary and hoping that writing, creating music, painting, developing a new business, etc will be sufficient to pay bills and hopefully a little more!
I know it is easy for me to sit on the sidelines and encourage others to "take the plunge." But, I believe I know at least something of what this is about. After 30 years in one area of work, I made a rather drastic change. It was terrifying at first. I thought (wrongly) that I had no other skills to offer. I only was trained for one thing. Now that some years have gone by I can say honestly that I feel fulfilled, content, and amazed at how good life is.
Please consider a few thoughts that have been useful to me:
1. Don't wait until you are 85 to make a change. Go for it! If something in your spirit is making you restless, if there is a powerful curiosity about a way of life you have always admired but thought could never be yours, then go for it! Today's missed opportunity could be tomorrow's regret! I know many such people who now say, "IF only...!" Act today, so you will never have to say "if only..."
2. We must think outside of the box! This expression is becoming a cliche but it is profoundly true. We become blinded to what exists outside our world. My sense is that the more trained or educated we become, the narrower our world becomes. A liberal education should not have this effect but it does. I have served on university boards and have contact with people who are very well educated and highly proficient in their area of expertise or business. But herein also lies a problem: that area of expertise can become very narrow. We live in a big beautiful world. There is so much out there. To begin to think about new paradigms and new "boxes" I suggest:
a. Take time to dream about what you might find interesting. Make lists.
b. Read more broadly. Research the internet.
c. Seek out people who live in very different worlds and ask them questions. Be a learner.
d. Travel outside your country.
e. Try new hobbies.
3. Redefine failure. This has been difficult for me and has kept me from taking risks. I wanted to be certain of the outcome before I would venture forth. I am coming to understand that failure is being knocked down once more than we are willing to lift ourselves up. You can fall 6 times but you are not a failure unless you only get up 5 times. I am learning to truly believe this. Most every great man or woman in business, politics, athletics, church life, education, and so on, will acknowledge a time or time of misery and setbacks. Instead of allowing these setbacks to paralyze and intimidate, they rose above them and learned from them to press over onward.
4. Talk to people who work with career adjustments and transitions. You will find this very valuable. I found great encouragement and learned that there are transferable skills and life experiences that can be very helpful and applicable in new situations.
5. Spend a good deal of time figuring out how your skill sets or experiences can be applied in other areas of life. For example, a good friend was forced to retire from missionary work due to failing health. Upon returning to his home country he discovered that his church was not overly impressed with his credentials (even though they were considerable). He was quite discouraged and struggled for some time. One day he felt useful and was fully engaged and the next he felt like he had been tossed on the scrap heap. After some time he talked with people in a local community college and within a short time he was teaching courses on comparative religions and other subjects. He had discovered a new outlet, outside of his old box, that enabled him to utilize his academic and pedagogical skills. He became once more a happy man.
6. Start small. Take baby steps, then walk and then learn to run. Stepping away from comfort is scary. Don't pack up the family and move to another continent next week. That could be disastrous. Begin by reflecting and meditating. In an ideal world what would you like to be doing? If money were no object at all, what would you be doing? For what would you leap out of bed each morning? As your list develops begin by tackling some of the items you describe.
Recently I had a conversation with a man aged 57. He said he was trying to "hang on" for 7 more years so he could retire. "In all honesty", he said, "if I could I would quit tomorrow!" My friend is just existing. This is so sad to me. Those 7 years may be the longest years of his life. He is beginning to probe some other paths and courses of action that he might pursue.Now I realize going from the comfort zone to something new may seem like jumping off a cliff. Perhaps it is even worse. When we jump off a cliff we can usually see the bottom. In what I am advocating, it may not be possible to know what the "bottom" looks like. Perhaps it will be shark-infested waters. We may not know. It is terrifying. But what if you never try? Then you will never know for sure. Your jump could take you to a place where your life long dreams, aspirations and desires are at last in congruity with how you spend your day. Life does not get better than that.
Obviously we must be prudent and thoughtful. We must count the cost and make good preparations to minimize the risks. I realize that and would never advocate fool hardy moves from one career to another or from one job to a vague, murky promise of an income. There is a fine line between brilliant risk-taking and stupidity!!
My purpose is to push you a little! Do not wait until it is too late to do the things you have always dreamed of doing and seeing the places you have always dreamed of seeing!
Do not allow the words "IF ONLY" to characterize you in your old age. You can still do something about your life today! You may not be able to tomorrow. Go for it!!
Want to chat about this? I would be delighted to listen to your dreams and aspirations and also your fears and trepidations. You can contact me at rick@icarecoaching.com.
Dr. Rick Penner
Copyright February 2009
