How significant are you?

Is your life significant?  Are you making a contribution to this world?  How will you be remembered 100 years from now?  What are your values as far as significance is concerned?  What is significance anyway?  By whose definition?

 I admit that I think about such questions from time to time and over the years my convictions have changed substantially.  I often think of a friend of mine when I consider these questions.   He was a pastor for probably 45 years at least.  Years ago I recall a denominational leader saying to me about this pastor-- "Well, you know, Thomas (not his real name), is really a 2 cylinder kind of guy.  He has no horsepower."  Even then, I was angry with that assessment.  I knew Thomas quite well.  It is true, he pastored a church in a little town.   Neither the town nor the church really grew much from year to year.  He had always pastored those kinds of churches.  But in my eyes Thomas was a great pastor.  He was as steady as the Rock of Gibralter.  He delivered on his promises.  I could count on his word to be true.  He rarely ruffled feathers but neither did he create stormy conflicts. 

 One day at a retreat for pastors, Thomas and his wife told the story of how they had served a church during the turbulent 60's near San Francisco. Thomas talked about coming to his office in the morning and often finding hippies sleeping on the church lawn sleeping off hangovers.  He stopped to talk to them and bought coffee for them.  Almost all the pastoral couples at that retreat were much younger than Thomas and his wife.  They sat with renewed respect and awe as Thomas told story after story about how people were positively impacted by his gentle, quiet, caring touch.  Thomas became a hero and a role model to the other pastors that day.  For years afterwards, people talked about that special evening we all shared together.

 Over the years I lost track of  Thomas and his wife but in the past few years we reconnected again.  A few months ago Thomas died.  If ever a person of faith were to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant!", I am sure they applied to Thomas.  That is what he was all his life--- Faithful!

 Since Thomas has died I have again wondered about this matter of significance.  How do we measure it?   All I can think of are the words, "It is required of a steward that he be found faithful!  I think of the parables of the men to whom a stewardship was given.  The one who buried it and did nothing was condemned.  The other two, although the return on the exercise of their stewardship varied greatly, were both given identical words of commendation by their master.  So my conclusion of the matter is this-- Faithfulness in what you do with what you have been given---------- that  is the bottom line.  If the assessment that my friend Thomas was a "2 cylinder" kind of person was accurate, well then,--- the measure of his significance is about his degree of faithfulness to those 2 cylinders!

 I believe we use a false measuring stick to determine how significant we are.  As young adults we want to prove ourselves to our company or to our family.  We are filled with zeal and enthusiasm.  Perhaps we want to prove something to ourselves!  We worship at the altar of hard work and sacrifice and sometimes sell our souls for a promotion or advancement in the company.  In so doing we often sell something else-- our influence on our family for instance.  We may also sell our own dignity and sense of identity.

 Then what happens?  Our company is taken over by another and suddenly we are not needed!  If we are extremely fortunate,( and rare in this day), we might even make it for 30 years or so with the same firm.  Then we are given a watch and perhaps a plaque to hang on the wall telling how much our services were appreciated.  Very soon another aspiring and ambitious employee is enthusiastically ensconced at the desk we once worked from, and no one even remembers our name.  Just how significant do we feel now?

 Significance is not about bank accounts, academic success, titles, amount of accrued pensions and retirement funds, size of house, golf scores, etc etc.  It is about faithfulness!  Knowing you have done your best each day with what you had to work with is a great way to live. Do not look at the way society measures significance!  It is often a false measuring device.  Fame, wealth, name recognition ,etc.,  are good for the ego and you may be led to believe you are loved and valued.  Truth is,  more often than not, people will use you and your assets to forward their own agendas and purposes.  This is not a real measurement of significance.  Living each day knowing that you have given it your best shot-- that's the way to live!  You will sleep well at night!

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The Paralysis of Fear

 I recently spent a few days with a friend whom I had not seen in about 15 years.  It was a wonderful reunion.  One of our topics of discussion was the matter of retirement and transitioning.  My friend has worked for years as an ophthalmologist and now is looking for new ways to feel productive and useful in his retirement.  Many people face new challenges and transitions.  It seems sometimes like change and transitions are an integral part of life in the early 21st century.   There is understandably great fear and apprehension as people face an uncertain future.

 Fear is a profound emotion.  It can paralyze.  It is easy to suggest that a person in such circumstances ought to be trusting and confident and thereby overcome the terror of fear!  But life is not always so easy.

 In the early summer season in North America, where the terrain is mountainous, there is danger of flooding as snow melts on mountains miles away.  In other regions floods can rise when summer rains descend on earth.   As you read this, please picture a raging river.  When we lived in Arizona I was amused to see signs that warned of flash floods.  In the desert?  Sure!  Was I in a for a surprise when the winter rains hit.  In no time at all a dry wash became a raging torrent of water.  Invincible 4X4 drivers seemed the most likely candidates to lose their vehicles to fast flowing waters.  Those signs, I found out, were put there for a reason.  Maybe a raging river can form a metaphor for you as you look at rivers you must cross in your life!

 How can you prevent the waves of fear and anxiety in life from overwhelming and paralyzing you?

 There is a great story in ancient Jewish history of Jewish people in the time of Joshua, crossing a river.  They were assured by their God that when the feet of the priests touched the water's edge that it would result in dry ground before them.  They did not know until they tested the waters.

 It seems to me we have a great lesson here!  We note a great picture of human responsibility coupled with an unwavering trust in God.  It is hard to strike a balance here.  Sometimes we feel we ought to do nothing and simply wait for God to act.  "Let go and let God" is how we put it.  Others of us rely largely or exclusively on human effort.  We grit our teeth and plunge ahead.  If we pray at all, it is essentially to ask God to agree with what we have already decided to do.

 Joshua and his multitudes paint a well-balanced picture.  The river did not dry up until the priests set their feet in the water.  Can you imagine what a scene this must have been?  Can you imagine the fear and hesitancy of the priests?  Or, do you suppose they boldly marched toward the river, completely confident that the moment their feet got wet, the river would suddenly miraculously cease to flow?  I presume there might have been some of each of these reactions.

 Are you fearful of the future?  Fearful of decisions you must make?  Fearful of your health?  Fearful of wars and unrest around the world?  Fearful of ............?  There are hosts of reasons to be fearful.  The picture of a raging river that suddenly ceases to flow and causes huge pileups of water upstream is an amazing scene.  It represents to me how we ought to live.  We must begin with a strong confidence in God.  We need to remind ourselves that He loves us unconditionally.  Perfect love casts out fear, says the Scripture.  If we count on the truth that God loves us unconditionally our fears diminish.  This does not mean we have no responsibility whatever.  We must move in obedience and get our feet wet!  Herein is the secret.

 What fears are you facing today?  If you allow fear to paralyze you it probably will.  If you act to do what you know you ought to do, your fears will be conquered. Take that first step!  Step into the water!

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How to talk to people

Kind of obvious isn't it?  You know--- the common courtesies, and all!  Well, maybe not.

I recently flew from Chicago to Seattle.  I was tired as I had just flown 10 hours from Europe.  My tiredness and discovering that my wife and I were assigned seats in different parts of the aircraft, proved a bad combination.  I was not in a good mood!  I approached the agent at the check in counter and said something like, "I am tired and grumpy!  You probably are not interested in what makes me feel this way but I am wondering why my wife and I cannot sit together on this next flight?"

The lady at the desk surprised me.  She looked me in the eye and said, "I am sorry you feel the way you do.  I will do my very best to help you.  Leave it with me.  This flight is filled to capacity but  I think I can help you out."  Sure enough, I heard my name paged shortly after this and with a smile she handed me two new boarding passes.   She made a few additional comments and wished us both a good flight---seated next to each other no less!

After landing in Seattle I called for a hotel shuttle to pick us up.  I was greeted with a recording and told to wait.  After 5 minutes of  listening to irritating music and advertisements, a live voice came on.  Being even a little more tired by now (it was after 10PM local time and who knows what time according to my body clock) and more irritable, my happy airline experience notwithstanding, I made mention of the fact that I did not enjoy the long wait on hold just to be picked up by the hotel shuttle.  The lady responded with defensiveness and began telling me how busy she was.  I do not particularly doubt what she said was true, but I was really in no mood to hear her excuses.  A simple, "I am sorry we made you wait", would have done wonders for me.

So what can we learn here?  What is the difference between these two little cameos?

All of us want to be treated like human beings.  I am not a number or some statistic.  I have feelings.  I am sometimes happy and sometimes sad or tired.   I want people to treat me with some measure of dignity and respect.  I do not demand my way all the time.  I am a reasonable person and most of us are.  Life is life and sometimes machines break down, the phone rings off the hook, traffic is heavy,--- stuff happens!  I can understand that.  But please, treat me as a human.  Listen to me!  Hear my story before you shoot back with your excuses.

To me this seems like a no brainer but apparently it is not.  In our technological age we are losing the personal touch.  I think this is unfortunate.  There is nothing like a friendly greeting from your local banker when I do my banking business.  No ATM can do this for us.  Somewhere I have a book with a chapter entitled, High Tech, High Touch!.  That is what I am talking about.  I have a name.  I resent being treated as though I were a number or a statistic only.

When we do talk to one another we ought to really listen.  It takes so little effort to be empathetic and understanding, and the rewards are enormous.  Pause before you answer.  Really listen when the other person is speaking instead of formulating in your mind what you will say in response.  Sometimes it can be helpful to repeat what the other person has just said.  He or she will be impressed and feel validated.  This one tip alone can revolutionize how we relate to one another.  I have found myself guilty often, of hoping the other person will stop talking so I can give him my wisdom and insights to the situation.  I am not really listening to him or her, just waiting for an opening so I can talk.  How selfish and rude that is! 

It does wonders to us when we feel we are truly being heard.

Here's to happy communicating!!!

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