Kind of obvious isn't it? You know--- the common courtesies, and all! Well, maybe not.
I recently flew from Chicago to Seattle. I was tired as I had just flown 10 hours from Europe. My tiredness and discovering that my wife and I were assigned seats in different parts of the aircraft, proved a bad combination. I was not in a good mood! I approached the agent at the check in counter and said something like, "I am tired and grumpy! You probably are not interested in what makes me feel this way but I am wondering why my wife and I cannot sit together on this next flight?"
The lady at the desk surprised me. She looked me in the eye and said, "I am sorry you feel the way you do. I will do my very best to help you. Leave it with me. This flight is filled to capacity but I think I can help you out." Sure enough, I heard my name paged shortly after this and with a smile she handed me two new boarding passes. She made a few additional comments and wished us both a good flight---seated next to each other no less!
After landing in Seattle I called for a hotel shuttle to pick us up. I was greeted with a recording and told to wait. After 5 minutes of listening to irritating music and advertisements, a live voice came on. Being even a little more tired by now (it was after 10PM local time and who knows what time according to my body clock) and more irritable, my happy airline experience notwithstanding, I made mention of the fact that I did not enjoy the long wait on hold just to be picked up by the hotel shuttle. The lady responded with defensiveness and began telling me how busy she was. I do not particularly doubt what she said was true, but I was really in no mood to hear her excuses. A simple, "I am sorry we made you wait", would have done wonders for me.
So what can we learn here? What is the difference between these two little cameos?
All of us want to be treated like human beings. I am not a number or some statistic. I have feelings. I am sometimes happy and sometimes sad or tired. I want people to treat me with some measure of dignity and respect. I do not demand my way all the time. I am a reasonable person and most of us are. Life is life and sometimes machines break down, the phone rings off the hook, traffic is heavy,--- stuff happens! I can understand that. But please, treat me as a human. Listen to me! Hear my story before you shoot back with your excuses.
To me this seems like a no brainer but apparently it is not. In our technological age we are losing the personal touch. I think this is unfortunate. There is nothing like a friendly greeting from your local banker when I do my banking business. No ATM can do this for us. Somewhere I have a book with a chapter entitled, High Tech, High Touch!. That is what I am talking about. I have a name. I resent being treated as though I were a number or a statistic only.
When we do talk to one another we ought to really listen. It takes so little effort to be empathetic and understanding, and the rewards are enormous. Pause before you answer. Really listen when the other person is speaking instead of formulating in your mind what you will say in response. Sometimes it can be helpful to repeat what the other person has just said. He or she will be impressed and feel validated. This one tip alone can revolutionize how we relate to one another. I have found myself guilty often, of hoping the other person will stop talking so I can give him my wisdom and insights to the situation. I am not really listening to him or her, just waiting for an opening so I can talk. How selfish and rude that is!
It does wonders to us when we feel we are truly being heard.
Here's to happy communicating!!!
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